I am going to try, most likely in vain, to use mere mortal words to describe Nintendo’s E3 press conference today.

Ahem.

It was freakin’ awesome.

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Imagine if they were able to take the concept of awesome and refine it into something tangible, like a powder. The FDA approves this awesome powder for use in foods and medicine. The most talented baker in the world discovers that awesome powder can be used to make the most delicious cake in the entire world. Now imagine it’s your wedding day, and your totally smokin’ hot wife smashes a piece of the awesome cake into your face.

This is what Super Mario Galaxy 2 is like. Having tangible awesome smooshed into your face by a hot chick.

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There’s been a little bit of buzz (more like a dull hum, actually) on the internet lately about Nintendo’s update to the Classic Controller, the Classic Controller Pro. You may be wondering “Wow, what did the Classic Controller Pro do to lose its amateur status?” Well, I’m here to give you the details.

We’ve been jumping back into Virtual Console games a bit lately, and once I finally found out that the white one was out in America I decided that it was a good time to check it out, especially after all the great things I’d been hearing about it from people who had purchased it in the bundle with Monster Hunter 3 Tri.

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June 27th, the game we never thought would happen is being gifted to us. Treasure, makers of such rad-tastic games as Gunstar Heroes, Dynamite Headdy, and Ikaruga give us the sequel to Japanese Nintendo 64 cult classic Sin & Punishment, entitled Sin & Punishment: Star Successor for the Wii.

Apparently, the game was given the greenlight after strong Virtual Console sales, which is surprising considering the game was never released outside of Japan until the Virtual Console release. The game is a face-melting shooter chock full of screen-filling bosses, ludicrous amounts of bullets, and a dizzying amount of explosions. You know, everything that makes Treasure games fantastic. Lead character Saki was also added as an Assist Trophy in Super Smash Bros Brawl, and he was awesome. He was all flipping around with his laser gun that is ALSO A LASER SWORD. There is a lot of awesome, rad, totally bodacious things in this game! That means the sequel will be EVEN BETTER!

BUT. Nintendo is releasing this game June 27th, ONE DAY after Metroid: Other M, one of the few other “hardcore” Wii releases. I’m terrified that as a result, Sin & Punishment: Star Successor’s sales are going to suffer. This is where I use my influence over about a dozen people on the internet to try to do some good.

Your assignment is to purchase Sin & Punishment for Virtual Console, play it in its entirety, fall in love with it and purchase the sequel when it’s released. You have over a month! The game retails for 1200 Wii Points, which is $12 in American Real Dollars. You have plenty of time to mow lawns, pull up couch cushions, and visit old relatives to get the money for both games. You’ll thank me, and I’ll thank you for making sure that Treasure gets the credit it deserves for making such mind-blowingly fantastic games.

Dokapon Kingdom is going to make you hate whoever you play it with.

I’m serious.

Dokapon Kingdom can be pretty much summed up as Mario Party crossed with an RPG. You move around a board by using spinners to determine how far you go, you level up, fight monsters, and buy equipment.

You also screw over your friends whenever the opportunity presents itself. It presents itself often.

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I got my first article request a couple of days ago from my old buddy Jeff. He sent me a link to a YouTube video about an upcoming game called Wiiwaa and said it warranted comment by me. Well, I’m a man of the people, and I’m going to give the people what they want.

Here’s the link to the video, so go watch it and then come back. I’ll wait.

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Hey, we’re back! All right. Let’s jump right back into it, shall we?

Before I start, I don’t want to hear anyone whining that their favorite game didn’t make the list. If you’re so smart and have such good taste, where’s your blog, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Go back to your Livejournal, junior. The grown-ups are talking.

Anyway, these are 25 games that I feel encapsulate everything that was great about the 2000s (what the hell ARE we calling those years, anyway?). It’s weird, because some of my favorite games are pretty low on the list, or not on the list at all. I tried to be somewhat objective and choose games that brought something new to the table and advanced the medium in some way, not just games that I thought were rad.

These games are pretty rad, though.

Anyway, on with the list. I’m detailing #25 through #11 tonight, with the top ten coming tomorrow. Let me know what you think!

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For me, one of the main draws of the Wii was the Virtual Console. Not only does it make playing old games more convenient by letting me play them all from one system, but it also gives me the opportunity to pay again for things I already own.

My favorite system of all time is the Nintendo 64. My two favorite games ever are Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, plus the system plays host to a ton of other games I love, like Mario Kart 64, Pokémon Puzzle League, and more I could list that you would get bored reading very quickly.

The biggest hurdle when it comes to enjoying Nintendo 64 games on my Wii is the controls. Playing Super Mario 64 with the Classic Controller or GameCube controller just doesn’t feel right. Sin & Punishment is nearly impossible to play on either, since it was one of the few games to use the “left” orientation on the Nintendo 64 controller, using the d-pad and control stick simultaneously. For the other consoles represented on the Virtual Console, there are great controller substitutes. We have the Wii Remote which is a great substitute for the NES controller when you turn it sideways, and the Classic Controller feels just like a SNES controller with a couple analog sticks thrown in for good measure. Nintendo 64 games, though, really don’t work.

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While reviews (in the strictest sense, anyway) are something I plan on avoiding for this here blog, occasionally I’m going to write about a recent release that I’m into. You’re never going to see me give a game a numerical score or a letter grade or any of that, because honestly if I don’t believe reviews other people write, it’d be kind of hypocritical for me to start writing them. I do have much better taste than everyone else, though.

Anyway, Christina got me into the Silent Hill series not too long after we moved in together. It’s her favorite series, and while I had always heard great things, the only experience I had with it before playing through them with her was when me and three friends tried playing Silent Hill 2 in the dark when we were 16 and no one wanted to be the one holding the controller. I think it was the bathroom scene (you know the one) that did us in.

But as I’m an older now and my unbridled masculinity and toughness has made me impervious to the effects of survival horror, I’ve come to really enjoy Silent Hill. Silent Hill 3 is my favorite, even though I know Silent Hill 2 is the better game. Don’t ask me how that works. The series has hit a major snag lately, with both Silent Hill Origins and Silent Hill Homecoming failing to deliver and doing everything short of completely killing the franchise. When we started learning about Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for Wii, though, our hopes rose again. Thankfully, we weren’t disappointed.

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