Don’t you hate it when one simple design choice ruins an entire game?

As a 3DS Ambassador, I got 10 free Game Boy Advance games via download, including Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones. I haven’t played much Fire Emblem despite owning both Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn, but James, editor at Nintendo Life, asked me if I’d review it as my first Nintendo Life assignment. I agreed.

I’m not super into strategy RPGs, but I do love me some Shining Force and Final Fantasy Tactics, and I’d always wanted to really get into Fire Emblem. I liked the look of it and the “rock-paper-scissors” weapon balance was super fun. The writing was good and I loved the character designs. Things were looking good!

Everything was going fine until I ran into what broke the game for me: when a character dies in battle, they’re gone FOREVER. Okay, that’s fine I guess. If someone dies, I’ll just reset! No big whoop!

That worked until one chapter in particular where the field was covered in fog and I couldn’t see anything that wasn’t directly around my characters. Despite moving them in a tight formation, enemies would always pour out of the fog and gang up on one character until they died.

I restarted that mission no less than ten times before completely giving up on the game.

I’ve gone into it a bit before in other posts, but I have weird anxiety issues with games. The thought of letting a character die and NOT resetting almost gave me a panic attack. No, I can’t do that. Then they’re gone for the whole rest of the game. What if I need them? What if they had something important to say later? No, I can’t let them die.

I had to email James and apologize, but I couldn’t play enough of the game to review it. I felt really guilty and embarrassed, since it was my first assignment and all, but that game was paralyzing me. I tried really hard to work through it, to put my crazy aside and be a professional, but my constitution stat wasn’t high enough, apparently.

So it looks like I’m going to have to admire the Fire Emblem series from afar. Have any of you ever had an otherwise awesome game ruined by one design choice?

(Note: I originally published this article on Bits ‘n’ Bytes Gaming on February 8, 2011.)

One of my weird gaming quirks is that I am inexplicably drawn to interesting title screens. Like a moth to a flame, if you show me a cool title screen, I’m more than likely to play your game. That’s part of how I pick which “unknown” games to play on Virtual Console, since all you really get to see are the title screens!

One of the first games I downloaded for the Virtual Console was Neutopia for the Turbografx-16, and I selected it solely based on how amazing the title screen was. Awesome 16-bit graphics, hero in a heroic pose, colorful landscape, it had all I was looking for. I bought it without even knowing what kind of game it was, I just knew I wanted in.

To my surprise, Neutopia is a 16-bit Legend of Zelda clone, and a pretty good one at that. I purposefully call it a “clone” rather than an “homage,” because really, who are they trying to kid? You use bombs to blow up secret passageways in walls. There are piglike humanoids who throw spears at you. There’s a monster that pops out of the water to shoot fireballs at you. There’re bats and skeletons. You have to traverse eight dungeons to find medallions and rescue a princess. There’s an item that stops time. There’s a really catchy, endlessly looping overworld theme. The boss of the first dungeon is even a dragon!

(One major difference, though, is that hero Jazeta has a much girlier sounding name than Link.)

Neutopia is perfect for old-school gamers wishing in vain for another top-down Zelda game. Just like Zelda for the NES, you’re plopped into the game with little direction and a massive world to explore. The nice thing the developers of Neutopia did, though, was give you a compass that will point you in the direction of the next dungeon you need to find. As far as getting there, though, you’re on your own.

But be wary, aspiring adventurers; Neutopia is HARD. In fact, some might even call it Nintendo hard. The game does not skimp on enemies to throw at you, and they do A LOT of damage. You upgrade your armor pretty quickly in the game so you can take a little more abuse, but just as soon as that happens, tougher enemies start showing up to take a chunk out of you.

The combat is exactly the same as in The Legend of Zelda (except, sadly, you cannot shoot your sword with power), but there is some pretty dodgy hit detection, especially against flying enemies. You have to hit them RIGHT ON with your sword or else you miss, while they can touch any part of you and you take damage. As a result, I found myself picking and choosing my fights, hoping to conserve health for enemies I couldn’t avoid.

I can’t recommend Neutopia enough to gamers looking to relive the days of old-school adventuring, but if you can’t take a challenge, stay away. Don’t let the bright colors and cheerful music mislead you, this game is going to fight you at every turn.

Neutopia is available for download from the Virtual Console service on Wii for 600 Wii points.

(Note: I originally published this article on Bits ‘n’ Bytes Gaming on February 7, 2011)

Before the Wii was released to the public, one of the most talked-about features was the Virtual Console. Some people cried foul, claiming Nintendo was simply trying to milk more money out of people who had already bought some of those games several times before. I, however, saw a lot of potential in the service, not just for me to “digitize” my collection of old games or play some old gems I missed, but as a way for a new generation of gamers to experience key points in gaming history.

There are all kinds of people who have either been reintroduced to videogames due to the Wii, or are taking a step into the gaming world for the very first time. These people may think that The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is pretty great, but did they ever take notes on how to navigate through the Lost Woods? They might have really enjoyed Metroid Prime 3, but do they know the name Justin Bailey? While a lot of people may have picked up the Wii simply to play Wii Sports, there are plenty who were enticed by what it brought to the table as an entertainment device and began to genuinely like videogames, and will use the Virtual Console service as a way to explore the path that led to the games they are playing today.

Take, for example, my sister-in-law, who is fourteen years old. My wife has been a gamer her whole life, so her sister grew up watching her play videogames and the Virtual Console has allowed her to play a lot of the games that she was too young for at the time. She’s a big fan of Kirby, having played his games on the GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. With the Virtual Console, she’s now able to see Kirby’s console game debut in Kirby’s Adventure for the NES.

More impressive still, she’s been spending time lately playing though Super Mario 64, a game my wife received as a Christmas gift the day before her sister was even born!

Even for someone like me who is a lifelong gamer, has never sold a console, and grew up reading every gaming magazine I could get my hands on, the Virtual Console has been a great way for me to play a lot of the games that I could only read about and never play. I never had a Turbografx-16 as a kid (and to be honest, I never even saw one in any store!), but through the Virtual Console I’ve gotten to play some really fun TG16 games like Bonk’s Adventure and Neutopia that I would have never had the chance to otherwise.

Unfortunately, the Virtual Console hasn’t gotten the attention in North America and Europe that it has in Japan (where new games are still put up weekly), and some of the most wished-for games will never hit the service for legal reasons (EarthBound), it’s still a great service that shouldn’t be easily dismissed. There’s a plethora of great games, some well-known classics and some buried treasures, waiting to be replayed by older fans who may have forgotten them, or discovered by new fans for the very first time.

One thing I can safely assume about anyone who reads my blog is that they like video games. That’s rad, I like video games too. Common ground!

Over on the forum we’ve gotten together to play games from time to time, but right now two games are really at the forefront of our minds: Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 for PlayStation 3 and Mario Kart 7 for Nintendo 3DS. Because we’re enjoying them so much, I decided to add some structure to the fun and introduce Thursday Night Throwdown and Fast & Furious Friday Nights.

Starting this week we’ll be getting together to play once a week (well, twice a week if you want to play both games) and have a good time. This won’t be a super-hardcore tournament atmosphere, just dudes playing games for fun.

If you’re interested we already have threads on the forums started by Megafan and Eric for Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 and Mario Kart 7 that I’ve turned into official threads for both themed nights. We’d love to have you! (Just remember before registering for the forums to read this splash page!)

(I originally posted this article on Bits ‘n’ Bytes Gaming on February 1, 2011)

You can tell a game is going to kick your ass when the MAIN MENU MUSIC is more intense than the final boss music in most other games.

I, being a longtime Treasure fan (having spent a large portion of my youth playing Gunstar Heroes and Dynamite Headdy on my Sega Genesis, which to this day are two of my favorite games) was overjoyed when the Japan-only Nintendo 64 game Sin & Punishment was finally made available to a North American audience via the Wii’s Virtual Console. It was really campy (naturally) and amazingly hard, but I loved it all the same.

Then Nintendo released Sin & Punishment: Star Successor for the Wii, which I consider one of the most dangerous games ever released. This game not only throws an incredible difficulty level at you, but it’s also designed in such a way as to make you feel worse about yourself every time you screw up.

Don’t get me wrong, the game is wicked fun, but it’s about as unforgiving as they come. No doubt everyone who calls themselves a gamer is familiar with the term “bullet hell.” Bring that into a 3D environment and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what to expect from S&P: SS. You choose between characters Isa and Kachi, who fly around with a jetpack or hoverboard respectively, and use the Wii’s pointer to shoot at a multitude of enemies while you dodge an unending, seemly erratic barrage of enemy attacks. You also have the ability to reflect certain projectiles back at your attackers by tapping the fire button when something is in melee range.

Not only is keeping yourself focused on where you’re shooting and where you’re dodging tough in and of itself, the game also keeps track of your score for each stage and uploads it to a global leaderboard. Defeating enemies makes your score multiplier go up by about .1%. Enemies can also drop medals that boost your multiplier further, to a max of 16%. The problem is when you get hit, your multiplier drops by several percent at a time. Factor in that when you get hit you’re more than likely taking multiple hits at once and your multiplier can drop very drastically very quickly. It’s pretty frustrating, especially when you pull off a flawless run of a level and lose your multiplier on one of the giant, screen-filling bosses and get pretty much no score bonus for beating him.

If you feel like taking a serious knock to your gaming self-esteem, just check to see where you rank on the leaderboards after each level. You may think “Wow, I got seven million points! That’s pretty good!” but as soon as you see that the top player on that level has over 30 million points, you feel substantially less badass.

The game is just so freaking intense. Every move you make HAS to be deliberate or you’re on a slippery slope to losing it all. The game demands an extraordinary amount of mental dexterity just to keep track of everything going on at the screen at any given moment. I can’t recall a game that ever had me gripping my controller as hard as S&P: SS. They could have put “white-knuckle action!” in big bold letters on the back of the box and it wouldn’t even be a lie! I can’t play more than a couple of levels at a time because my hand gets so sore from keeping an involuntary death grip on my Wiimote.

S&P: SS is a game that every Wii owner should play, especially those who bemoan the fact that “there are no hardcore games on Wii!” It’s a whole lot of fun, but just go in knowing that this game is as hardcore as they come and it WILL kick your ass and then laugh at you about it.

There’s been three big games released recently, and I’m a lazy good-for-nothing so I haven’t written about them yet. Let me rectify that, as a Christmas gift to you, my handful of loyal readers.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword has been hyped forever, and it’s really good. Christina and I are still only on the fourth dungeon, because we’re playing it together so when we sit down to play it has to be a good time for both of us and we’ve been busy (plus when it’s not my turn I have a bad habit of falling asleep).

The Wii Motion Plus makes the combat definitely more deliberate than past Zeldas, but it CAN be frustrating, especially with basic enemies who block certain directions and seem to be able to react better than you. Also, Skulltulas? Forget about it. The thrusting motion is very hit or miss so you’ll run into a lot of problems.

Still, the game is an absolute blast and the story is fantastic. This game proves the Zelda series doesn’t need voice acting to be engaging because the characters are charismatic and bursting with personality. This game’s version of Zelda is already my favorite.

It’s about as good looking as a Wii game can be, and as much as I hate being a “graphics whore” I can’t help but feel like the game is held back by not being HD. The art design is phenomenal, it’s a shame the resolution doesn’t do it justice.

So yeah, we’re playing it really slowly. That’s okay, though, because it’s still really fun.

Super Mario 3D Land is the first killer app for the 3DS and follows the tradition of Nintendo launching hardware with a new feature that everyone stumbles over until they come in and show how to use it right. The 3D effects are great, especially when looking overhead as Mario makes a long fall through the sky.

The game really combines the best parts of the 2D and 3D Mario games and is some of the finest platforming the gaming world has seen in years. While the early levels will fool you with their light difficulty, as you advance you’ll quickly start cursing in anger as you die over and over and over and OVER. The biggest offenders are the levels with “Nega-Mario” chasing you. Ugh.

The game would have been perfect if not for some of the crushingly difficult levels towards the end, because so many levels pretty much require you to have the Tanooki powerup. Regardless, it’s the best game on the 3DS by far.

Star Wars: The Old Republic. It’s finally here! I’m absolutely loving it. It’s everything I wanted it to be and more. I’m playing a Jedi Knight, Sentinel advanced class and I can’t stop playing. While I’ve been excited about the idea of BioWare’s storytelling combined with a massively multiplayer game, part of me still wasn’t sure if that was as “chocolate and peanut butter” as I’d hoped. But man, it’s SO GOOD. The story is great; right from the word go you feel like a hero and will be attached to your character moreso than in any other MMO. You really start to think about who they are and what they’re like, and when you are able to add the “choice” element into situations where what you do affects other people, it’s an incredibly dynamic new way to approach online RPGs.

I’m level 27 right now and my Jedi Knight has already been through a lot. He’s incredibly devoted to the Light Side of the Force and will never refuse help to anyone who needs it, but he DOES have a weakness for the ladies that would probably get him in trouble with the Jedi Council if they knew (I made the choice to NOT tell them about hooking up with the Twi’lek Matriarch on Tython).

I play on the Darth Bandon server, so if you want to play sometime look up Zetharis!

So that’s my quick rundown for what’s been going on the past month; Christina and I will be breaking down our top 10 games of 2011 in a podcast early next month. LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with what I do for my day job, I work in the administration department of a natural and organic grocery store chain. My job entails counting cash and working with store financial reports, so as a result I have an office that has no windows and requires a key code to get into. My job is one that must literally be done every day, and as such I have a backup who works on weekends while I’m doing cool things like saving the world and winning NBA championships.

A while back Christina and I were at our local Newbury Comics and they had some of the American Legend of Zelda gashapon figures. They were less than $5 so we bought a few. We got a Darknut, Tetra and two Links. I took the spare Link to work, where I set him up on my computer so he could protect me from Keese and Stalfos.

Last week, I came into work on Monday after a weekend of bench pressing Buicks and tempering swords to find my Link figure broken. The figure ITSELF wasn’t broken, but the peg that connected him to his base had snapped. There was no note and no email. There aren’t a lot of people who have access to my office, so I figured it was either my backup or my store team leader. No big deal. I’d just take him home, glue him back together and set him back up.

My backup, who is the nicest lady ever, came into my office the next day to ask me about something and I jokingly asked her if she broke my figure. She IMMEDIATELY started apologizing, freaking out about how she spent so much time panicking thinking she had broken something that was super important to me. I assured her it was no big deal, it was a $5 figure and the whole reason I even had him at work was because I had another just like it at home.

“Who is that guy, anyway?” she asked.

“It’s Link, from the Legend of Zelda. Relax, it’s just a cheap figure I got at Newbury Comics. It’s no big deal. I’ll put on a dab of glue and it’ll be fine.”

Fast forward to Friday and she comes into my office again. “I felt so bad about breaking the guy (note: even after I told her his name was Link, she has called him ‘The Guy’ each and every time) that I went out and got you this.”

She hands me a plush of Link and something wrapped in white paper. “I got you that guy so I can’t break him. But he has to stay here! I like The Guy now.”

I insisted that she didn’t need to get me anything, but she told me to open the other item. I ripped off the corner of the paper.

Oh, no. Why?

She bought me a copy of Skyrim for the Xbox 360.

I was absolutely DUMBFOUNDED. I kept telling her I couldn’t accept it, it was way too much, it was only a cheap toy and the plush MORE than made up for it. She would have none of it, though; she said that she finally felt better after giving it to me and refused to take it back.

I have a LOT of weird quirks. One of them is that accepting ANY kind of gift from ANYONE makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I don’t even like accepting gifts from friends and family on Christmas or my birthday. Now I had a coworker giving me a $60 video game and an $8 plush as an apology for breaking the tiny peg on my $4.99 figure I had TWO of.

Things got kinda funny after, when I heard the story of how it all happened. She was talking to my store team leader and HR person, both of whom are big gamers (my STL even took a few days off to play Skyrim when it came out) asking what to get me as an apology. She kept asking if The Guy had any friends that she could get a figure of, and I guess another coworker, who doesn’t really know anything about video games, said in complete seriousness, “I can Google it.”

Anyway, I guess she called Newbury Comics to see if they had any of the figures and they told her that they were, in fact, in capsules and you couldn’t see which one was which until you bought them. She told them to set ALL of them aside and she’d be in.

I don’t know what happened after that, but somehow she wound up at GameStop and saw all the plushies next to the register and yelled “THAT’S THE GUY! I NEED THAT GUY!” She then called my STL to see what else she should get, and he, being the Elder Scrolls fan he is, said “Get him something Skyrim,” assuming there would be like a dragon figurine or something. He knew I didn’t have the game, because I had asked him about it when he had come into my office to finalize the store deposit for that day and it turned into a half hour discussion about the game mechanics and why Battlemages are awesome.

Anyway, I guess she took that to mean “Just buy Skyrim,” because that’s what she did.

I’m having a good time with the game, but I do feel a bit guilty whenever I play it. I know most people would be like “hey man, you got a free game, don’t complain,” but I still feel pretty bad about it.

Still, though, I’m very lucky to be able to work with someone so nice and who values others so much to go so far out of her way like that. It’s up to me now to pay it forward.

I haven’t written much lately. Looking at this front page, I’ve hardly written anything of substance in the past month! Sorry about that. That’s just like me, saying I’m not going to stop writing and then doing exactly that. In my defense Christina and I have been very busy, she’s been sick and those Blogimations that no one watches are a LOT of work.

Rather than spend another day doing nothing and complaining that I don’t know what to write about, here’s a few quick thoughts on what I’ve been up to.

- I’ve been playing the 3DS a lot lately! I got back into Ocarina of Time 3D. I still insist it’s not a good portable game, but man is it pretty. I also picked up Pokémon Rumble Blast and it’s a really good time. It’s really simple and easy to play and it’s something that I enjoy playing for a little while as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed. If you played the WiiWare original and liked it, you’ll like this.

- Thanks for forumite Hexen, we’ve discovered VGCollect.com. It’s a video game database that allows you to keep track of your collection, and if you own something that’s not listed, you can add it to the database yourself! We have a pretty long list of stuff to add and we’re not even close to done, but you can check out our list so far here.

- Ben Paddon (who is the genius behind GameJournos, formerly GJAIF, don’t ask what it stood for) has started a web show called PortsCenter, where he takes a look at games that have been ported to a multitude of systems, how they’re different and which version is the best. The first episode focused on Doom, with the episode going into detail about why the PlayStation version is the best. It was a great episode and I found the original long-box PlayStation version of Doom in near-mint condition at my local comic shop about a week later. I picked it up and it really is the best version!

Check out the episode on their Kickstarter page, and be sure to toss them a couple bucks so we can see more in the future.

- During a trip to our local anime shop I discovered Kotobukiya’s Bishoujo line of statuettes, where they take icons of American comics and pop fiction and render them in a beautiful anime art style. I bought Jean Grey, and with X-23, Liara T’Soni and Jaina Solo on the horizon they’ll be getting lots of my money. I’ll be reviewing the Jean Grey statuette for Christina’s site Otakuholic pretty soon, so stay tuned for that.

- I’ve talked about the Daizenshuu EX podcast a few times before, and I finally got to cross something off my nerd bucket list because I was a guest on episode 277 to talk about the latest Dragon Ball video game, Ultimate Tenkaichi. Give it a listen, it was a really good discussion! Spoiler, I’m the only one that liked it.

- I think I’m a REAL games reviewer now, because I’ve been getting games in the mail from PR companies! It’s kind of funny that the first game I ever received from a PR company is Grease Dance for Xbox 360, but hey, it actually wasn’t a bad game! I’m such a nerd, though; I saved the packing slip and hung it on my fridge FOR NOSTALGIA.

Not every game I’ve been sent is fun, though.

Also, if you never checked out my first review for KINECTaku for Sesame Street: Once Upon a Monster, you may do so now.

- This past weekend I was in the Star Wars: The Old Republic beta test. Legally, according to the fine print in the non-disclosure agreement all I can say is 1) there was a beta test and 2) I took part in that beta test. So guys, there was a beta test and I took part in that beta test.

On a completely unrelated note, HOLY SHIT.

- Finally, we got Super Mario 3D Land yesterday. I don’t want to say much because I’m taking it slow (the game is short, so I’m limiting myself to only one World a day) and I want to give it its own post in the future, but it’s an absolute blast and that THIS is the game that will make you a believer in 3D games.

That’s all I’ve got! Regular updates to resume soon. I PROMISE.

Okay guys, it is ALL ABOUT Skylanders now.

I’ve been following the development of Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure for a while now, because I thought the idea of collecting toys that would then work with a video game was an awesome idea. I’d been dying to play it, and the other night Christina and I picked up the Xbox 360 starter set along with a couple of extra figures.

Since then, we’ve been back to the store twice to buy more. I’d say it’s working.

Skylanders, for those of you who don’t know, is an action RPG that comes with an accessory called the Portal of Power. When you place one of the Skylanders figures on the Portal, it appears as your character in game. Any experience, money or accessories you collect on that Skylander is stored on the figure, independent of your save file; if you’re playing on the Xbox 360, you can take your Skylander to a friend’s house and play on his PS3 and your Skylander will be exactly as he was when you last played with it.

(I just wanted to show off the cool glow effect of the Portal of Power. The video doesn’t do it justice, but man, this is an awesome peripheral.)

It seems like a cash grab, and that’s probably true. In levels there are paths that can only be opened by a Skylander of a certain element (there are eight: Magic, Earth, Fire, Life, Undead, Water, Air and Tech). The game comes with three figures: Spyro (Magic), Trigger Happy (Tech) and Gill Grunt (Water) so the first few levels you’re fine. After that, though, you’ll have to buy more figures.

You also collect power-ups for characters that are scattered around the world, and of course they’re for figures you don’t have. When you pick them up the game asks if you’d like a preview of the Skylander in question, and then they show you a short, 15-second video of just how badass that toy you don’t have is.

Again, it seems like a cash grab, but the game’s production values are so high that you can’t really get upset about it.

For one thing, the figures themselves are INCREDIBLY well made. They’re solid, colorful and detailed and look like they can actually spring to life at any moment. Honestly, even if there were no game element I’d want to collect them. The characters are all cool looking too, with some of my favorites being Prism Break (who is a stone golem who shoots lasers from his crystal hands), Eruptor (a being made of lava) and Warnado (a spunky ripoff of Gamera, who unfortunately isn’t out yet). There’s 32 in all, so you’re bound to have a favorite.

Of course there are store exclusives, too; the Air type Whirlwind is only at Target, while Toys R Us has a three-pack of “Legendary” (recolored) versions of Spyro, Chop Chop and Bash. Which we bought, natch.

This would all be moot if the game was no fun, but Christina and I are really enjoying it. We actually have two save games going (so we can both get Achievements; they’re primary profile only) and we’re having an absolute blast. I said on Twitter that it’s some of the most fun I’ve had in co-op since Gunstar Heroes, and those of you that know me know how lofty a statement that is.

The game’s not a cheap vehicle for the figures; the graphics are bright, colorful and bring a whimsical world to life. Supporting characters have fantastic voice acting (including Flynn, who will be your favorite character, who’s voiced by Patrick Warburton). The game is even scored by Hans Zimmer, who you probably know from the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks.

It’s a really solid action-RPG, and while it’s not terribly difficult, each Skylander does have their own Challenge level that will even give hardcore players a bit of a tough time. Completing them does bestow upon your Skylander a permanent stat boost, so they’re worth playing as you advance through the main quest.

Oh, and is if collecting the figures wasn’t enough, the game also has enough collectible hats to please even the most jaded of Team Fortress fans.

What really makes the figure mechanic work (rather than just having the characters be something you select from an in-game menu at any time) is the sense of ownership it gives you over your Skylanders. Christina and I each have our own little stable so far and leveling up each of our Skylanders is surprisingly rewarding; knowing that they belong to you gives you a surprisingly strong connection to them, and it gives me a feeling similar to what I’ve gotten from putting together a carefully raised team in Pokémon.

The price of admission isn’t cheap, as the game will run you $10 more than a normal new release ($70 on consoles and $60 on 3DS, and they include the Portal of Power and three figures) and the figures are another $8 a pop. Not to mention there’s “Adventure Packs” for $20 that contain an exclusive Skylander, a new level and a power-up. Doing the math, we’ve easily dropped over $100 on it this weekend, but the amount of fun we’ve been having is absolutely worth it. It’s a game that will bring out the kid in you, the kind of game that will make you smile and get you genuinely excited to see new characters. If you can find a friend or family member to jump in with you, you’re absolutely going to have a great time.

I’m going to be topical today! How quaint.

Dragon Quest X was re-announced last night, much to the joy of every single citizen of Japan ever. I say re-announced because it was originally announced back at the same time as IX, but never mentioned again.

Dragon Quest, Square-Enix’s OTHER beloved long-running RPG series is a national treasure in Japan. The Japanese government had to ask Square-Enix (then just Enix) not to release Dragon Quest games during the week because too many people would stay home from work and school. This isn’t a law, like people believe, but this is the internet so trying to convince people that a rumor is inaccurate is like trying to yell at the ocean to stop being so wet all the time.

Anyway, Dragon Quest X: Rise of the Five Tribes is going to be an online game, which has stunned the world. I don’t really know what the reaction is in the motherland, but American fans are in an uproar about it. While Final Fantasy has tried to create crazy new gameplay mechanisms with each franchise iteration, Dragon Quest was loved because it stuck to traditional JRPG customs. Dragon Quest IX on the Nintendo DS broke tradition by not only being the first core Dragon Quest game on a handheld, but it was also the first game in the series to feature multiplayer. Dragon Quest X is taking that ball and RUNNING WITH IT.

(I don’t really know WHY American fans are in an uproar, to be honest… they complain every time a JRPG comes out and chastise it for being “too traditional,” but when a series tries to evolve they treat it like blasphemy.)

From what information’s been put out there, I can’t really tell if it’s an MMO or if it’s something more akin to Phantasy Star Online where small groups are formed and then sent into instanced worlds. My educated guess would be for the latter, as it’s being released for the Wii and Wii U, neither of which seem like a suitable home for an MMO.

I have to say I’m shocked at the reveal. It seemed that Dragon Quest was going to be Squeenix’s “comfort food” (or “security blanket”) while Final Fantasy kept traipsing off into futuristic cyber-worlds with made up languages.

That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to it; I liked Dragon Quest IX okay, although it started wearing thin for me towards the end. If I had had a friend to play it with and people to swap treasure maps with I probably would have had fun with it. However, a proper console multiplayer game featuring Akira Toriyama’s art and lush, colorful worlds? SIGN ME UP. TWICE.

I know exactly why Squeenix is going this route, too. Final Fantasy XI, in its heyday, was a CASH COW for them. It’s been the most profitable thing they’ve ever done. They tried to bottle lightning twice with Final Fantasy XIV, which was a mess. It’s a shame, too, because that game was gorgeous. Now they’re hemorrhaging money on a game that they’re so ashamed of they’re not charging people to play it. What else could repeat, if not eclipse, Final Fantasy XI’s success if not something with the Dragon Quest branding?

It’s too early to tell anything, really, except that the game looks gorgeous and the character designs are rad. It’s set to be released for Wii next year (Wii U is TBA) so we’ve got a long time to speculate.