Review: Neutopia (TurboGrafx-16)

(Note: I originally published this article on Bits ‘n’ Bytes Gaming on February 8, 2011.)

One of my weird gaming quirks is that I am inexplicably drawn to interesting title screens. Like a moth to a flame, if you show me a cool title screen, I’m more than likely to play your game. That’s part of how I pick which “unknown” games to play on Virtual Console, since all you really get to see are the title screens!

One of the first games I downloaded for the Virtual Console was Neutopia for the Turbografx-16, and I selected it solely based on how amazing the title screen was. Awesome 16-bit graphics, hero in a heroic pose, colorful landscape, it had all I was looking for. I bought it without even knowing what kind of game it was, I just knew I wanted in.

To my surprise, Neutopia is a 16-bit Legend of Zelda clone, and a pretty good one at that. I purposefully call it a “clone” rather than an “homage,” because really, who are they trying to kid? You use bombs to blow up secret passageways in walls. There are piglike humanoids who throw spears at you. There’s a monster that pops out of the water to shoot fireballs at you. There’re bats and skeletons. You have to traverse eight dungeons to find medallions and rescue a princess. There’s an item that stops time. There’s a really catchy, endlessly looping overworld theme. The boss of the first dungeon is even a dragon!

(One major difference, though, is that hero Jazeta has a much girlier sounding name than Link.)

Neutopia is perfect for old-school gamers wishing in vain for another top-down Zelda game. Just like Zelda for the NES, you’re plopped into the game with little direction and a massive world to explore. The nice thing the developers of Neutopia did, though, was give you a compass that will point you in the direction of the next dungeon you need to find. As far as getting there, though, you’re on your own.

But be wary, aspiring adventurers; Neutopia is HARD. In fact, some might even call it Nintendo hard. The game does not skimp on enemies to throw at you, and they do A LOT of damage. You upgrade your armor pretty quickly in the game so you can take a little more abuse, but just as soon as that happens, tougher enemies start showing up to take a chunk out of you.

The combat is exactly the same as in The Legend of Zelda (except, sadly, you cannot shoot your sword with power), but there is some pretty dodgy hit detection, especially against flying enemies. You have to hit them RIGHT ON with your sword or else you miss, while they can touch any part of you and you take damage. As a result, I found myself picking and choosing my fights, hoping to conserve health for enemies I couldn’t avoid.

I can’t recommend Neutopia enough to gamers looking to relive the days of old-school adventuring, but if you can’t take a challenge, stay away. Don’t let the bright colors and cheerful music mislead you, this game is going to fight you at every turn.

Neutopia is available for download from the Virtual Console service on Wii for 600 Wii points.