Have you ever noticed that people treat refrigerators with the same kind of sanctity that they do a bedroom? It’s like, if you go over to someone’s house for the first time, you don’t just go in their bedroom without asking. It’s the same thing with a fridge. Why is that?
When I was in high school, my three best friends were Aaron, Antonio and Bryan. We spent equal amounts of time at each house (except Antonio’s because his house smelled weird), and we never had any qualms about just going into each other’s fridges or cabinets to grab a snack or a drink. I think Bryan was the one that first spoke the phrase, which should honestly be on a scroll or something, “An acquaintance will ask before getting something from the fridge. A real friend will know it’s cool to just take it.”
A couple of months ago my friend Todd came over, and it was only the second time he’d been to our place. The first thing he did when he walked in? Go right to the fridge and grab a soda. I didn’t think “Man that’s rude.” I thought “Man, I’m glad he’s comfortable enough to do that.”
Why is it that the fridge is so off-limits? I can see not wanting people to go in your bedroom, because your underwear is in there and stuff, but a fridge is just food and drinks. And batteries if you’re one of those old people that thinks that makes them last longer. As long as you’re not taking the last of something, it’s all replaceable. If I’m inviting you into my home, that means I like you enough to share my beer or salsa or whatever.
I’ve spent many years (seven and a half… oh man this is the first time I’ve done the math, how depressing) working in grocery stores, and although I haven’t done any customer service for a while I did it long enough to know that you can tell a lot about people by the food they buy. When I was single and living on my own, a trip to the grocery store usually consisted of pizza rolls, Hot Pockets, ice cream, sausage, rice, and Pringles. I would never go to the checkstand of a hot girl cashier, because while I wanted her to know I was single, I didn’t want her to know I was SINGLE.
(This was long before I started working at Whole Foods and learned that hey, some food is garbage and if you eat like that you’re going to die weighing 900 pounds.)
I’d see it all the time. People would come through my line in workout clothes and buy fruits and Clif bars. Groups of teenage girls would buy ice cream and candy. Guys in sports jerseys bought steaks and burgers.
Is that why some people are so protective of people going through their fridge? Are they embarrassed by the half-eaten cake with nary a head of lettuce in sight? Do they not want people to see how much beer they buy at one time? Maybe they’re afraid someone is going to steal all their beer.
If I ever invite any of you over, you are more than welcome to peruse my fridge. If there’s any leftover pizza in there, though, that’s mine. Hands off.
