I watched the live stream of Microsoft’s E3 press conference while I was at work today. I felt it was a productive use of my time. Here’s what I thought.

They opened up with a new Call of Duty game, Black Ops. This one is by Treyarch, who are the guys who DIDN’T make Modern Warfare. The first 10 minutes or so of Microsoft’s conference was one of the developers playing the game. He didn’t talk about it, he didn’t narrate, it wasn’t a cutscene… he just played. It was super boring. I was working on reports while that was going on, so all I got was the audio. It sounded just like the other ones.

Then Cliffy B and some other folks came out and gave a demo of Gears of War 3. Don’t ask me why, but the Gears series are really the only shooters that I enjoy. The demo looked pretty intense. There was a lot of color in this one! Instead of just old abandoned buildings, ruined cities and caves, the battle here took place on the outskirts of a jungle. I really dug it. I’m deliberately not paying much attention to Gears of War 3 coverage, because I want to go in to it without a whole lot of expectations, but it looked good.

Xbox spokesman Don Mattrick said that the three biggest properties in gaming were Halo, Gears of War and Call of Duty. I laughed.

They showed some stuff from Halo: Reach. It looked like Halo. That’s good for people who like Halo!

The rest of their conference was all about Kinect, the new name of Project Natal. They showed off how it can be used to manipulate menus, which was kinda neat I guess. It can recognize voice commands as well. Saying “Xbox! Music!” made it activate the last.fm feature of the Xbox 360.

For some reason Microsoft signed an agreement with ESPN to allow streaming sports to their console. You can use Kinect to, er, connect with other sports fans. The bottom of the screen says “Which team are you rooting for?” If I was watching the NBA Finals and I said “Xbox! Join Celtics!” it would take me to an area where I’d be watching the game with other sports fans.

It’s a neat idea, but I can’t see people choosing that over, y’know, just changing the channel on their TV when the game is on.

Then they showed off a lot of Kinect games. There was Kinectimals, which was like a virtual petting zoo. They had their Wii Sports clone, their Wii Fit clone, and a dancing game. Then they showed off a badass Star Wars game, where you played as a Jedi, deflecting blaster bolts back at Stormtroopers with your lightsaber.

They wrapped up the show by unveiling what’s basically the Xbox 360 slim. Smaller, sleeker, and quieter than the current 360, it’s got a glossy black finish and looks like a fancy PC case mod. It’s also Kinect ready (the Kinect only needs to be plugged into the system, on older models Kinect will need to be plugged into the wall as well). It has a 250 GB hard drive and has a built-in Wi-Fi adapter. They also announced it was shipping today and would be in stores by the end of the week.

As far as I’m concerned, Kinect is very impressive technology without much application. Microsoft’s mantra throughout the conference was “We want to make it simple,” but I can’t see navigating menus with my hands easier than just using a controller with a d-pad on it. The video chat was neat, but I can’t see anyone plunking down the cash just for that when they can just use a webcam on their PC.

The games… eh. The entire lineup just screamed “We wish we did the Wii first.” Everything they showed except for Kinectimals had a Wii equivalent, and you could make the assumption that even that’s just a hi-def Nintendogs.

I just don’t know who Microsoft is really targeting with Kinect. The obvious answer is people who like motion control, but honestly everyone who wants motion control already has a Wii. The 360’s core demographic isn’t going to be lining up for Kinectimals or Kinect Sports. People who start gaming on Wii might later move on to the Xbox 360, but if they do that, it’s because they’re looking for more mature games and a more traditional experience, not because they want what they already have but with better graphics.

And then the redesign comes into play. If you want to target new consumers, especially ones who don’t own a game console, you are not going to convince them to buy your console over the Wii when it looks like that. Sharp angles and a black finish make the machine look like a very formidable piece of technology, which is intimidating to people who aren’t already tech savvy. People know the Wii and they’re familiar with its image: clean, white, and friendly. The Xbox 360 is sharp, expensive looking, and will require the purchase of another accessory for motion controls.

I don’t think I’ll be picking up Kinect. I like my Xbox 360 as a compliment to my Wii: I can play motion games as well as hi-def traditional games. I can’t see putting the money into investing in a motion control scheme that doesn’t have Mario or Zelda attached to it.

It’s a shame that they based their whole conference on it, because if I was a 360 exclusive gamer, I’d feel pretty bummed out right about now.