I’d like to take a moment to talk about the PlayStation Move, and how it’s a complete and total ripoff of the Wii. I’d also like to take this chance to say that if you think the Move is innovative and refreshing, you’re a freaking idiot and should probably stop breathing.

I’m not going to go into crazy specifics about how Move works, because there are plenty of other sources for information out there. I’m just going to present kneejerk reactions and call it like I see it, but Sony is pulling some BULL SHIZNIT this generation and I can’t believe that people are praising them for their lazy business practices.

Before I really get into the Move itself, I want to say that the PlayStation 3 is nothing special. Up until recently, I had every intention of getting one eventually, because there’s a handful of games I’d really like to play (LittleBigPlanet, Heavy Rain, 3D Dot Heroes, Ratchet & Clank to name a few), but this whole Move thing has really pushed me over the edge. I can’t respect Sony as a company anymore, and for me to effectively boycott a console takes a LOT of pissing me off.

Last gen, I owned all three consoles for the very first time. I was really happy! Every game that came out, I could play. I’d see fanboys slinging all kind of vile filth back and forth about how their console of preference was so much better than the others. I’d descend into the conversation and offer my words of enlightenment: “If you choose not to buy a console, the only one you’re hurting is yourself.” Why would you choose to deny yourself of great games? I decided that from then on, I’d never badmouth a console again.

But dammit Sony, you make it too hard.

They initially launched the PlayStation 3 under the mantra “This is what you want, because this is what we’re giving you.” They figured after the PlayStation 2 sold a hojillion units, anything with the name “PlayStation” on it would surely sell just as many. But it didn’t work. Wii was doing things that were exciting and new, and the Xbox 360 had already gained a HUGE head start as a hi-def gaming platform.

So what did Sony do?

Backpedal, and start ripping people off.

They had initially told people that the SIXAXIS didn’t have rumble because you couldn’t have rumble and motion sensing in the same controller. Nintendo laughed. So they came out with the DualShock 3 after falling on their faces. The Xbox 360’s achievement system was a huge hit, so Sony decides to start implementing their own “trophy” system into their games. They put their hands on their hips, a smug look of accomplishment on their faces. “Check out our trophies, they’re awesome and unique.” Now that the Wii has sold a hojillion units and is on par to outsell the mighty PlayStation 2, Sony’s Creative Department does what they do best and just steal a good idea someone else came up with and slap their name on it.

The worst thing is, PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

“Oh, this is what the Wii Remote should have been. Accurate 1:1 movement. To get that, you have to buy the Wii Motion Plus. That’s a ripoff.”

$20 to improve the controller the system is built around is a ripoff?

HOW ABOUT HAVING TO PAY $90 FOR A WHOLE NEW CONTROLLER SETUP?

This thing is a CARBON COPY of the Wii Remote and nunchuck, save for a few SLIGHT differences. All the people who mocked the Wii for being childish, for saying “I want to play with a real controller,” who’d scoff and say “enjoy your waggle” are now bowing down to Sony, thanking them for their innovation.

I can’t understand this.

It goes back to console fanboyism. Another company did it, so it’s bad and it’s a stupid idea. Now MY company did it, so it’s awesome.

These “gamers,” and I use the term loosely, have the audacity to call Nintendo a lazy company. They complain about minigame compilations (keep in mind very very few of these are actually made by Nintendo), and they say that motion control doesn’t add anything to the games.

But by taking an existing idea and applying it to their brand, Sony is driving the industry forward.

I facepalm’d so hard my face turned inside out.

So the next SOCOM is going to have motion control, huh? You use the pointer to shoot? Wow, I can’t believe no one’s thought of that before…

The Move is not going to catch on, I’m calling it right now. I’m not saying this with any kind of bias against Sony, because like I said, up until this stunt I didn’t really have anything against them. I’m saying this because they’re taking one part of what made the Wii successful, and effing the rest all up.

The Wii is a huge, runaway success not just because of the motion control, but because it’s ACCESSIBLE. The Wii is appealing to people who don’t play video games. The graphics are simple and colorful, the games are easy to understand, and how much fun is it to play as a little cartoon version of yourself? The console itself is small, with a clean, glossy white exterior. It looks nice in your living room.

From what we’ve seen of Move’s games though, they’re not recreating this. They’re using the graphics technology of the PlayStation 3 to make a realistic looking “PS3 Sports” if you will. They have a gritty looking gladiator sword fighting game. These games are not going to be appealing to people who don’t play video games. They’re intimidating. They’re not approachable. They don’t have any charm. They’re an example of technology existing simply because it can, not because it was designed to be fun to use.

Besides, the PlayStation itself is still $100 more than the Wii. Sony may get some of its existing customer base to buy the Move setup and maybe a couple of games, but it’s going to be a much tougher sell getting a first-time buyer family to choose the PlayStation 3 over the Wii.

It’s not a good fit for the PlayStation brand. They have a fantastic piece of hardware, and developers are finally starting to get the hang of it and they’re producing some really great games. In Japan, the PlayStation 3 is the ONLY choice for hi-def games, because the Xbox 360 can’t get a foothold there. They had a pretty good thing going, relatively, and now by trying to beat Nintendo at their own game, they’re shooting themselves in the foot. They’re entering a fight that they absolutely cannot win.

I don’t want a PlayStation 3 anymore because I’m getting really sick of being told what Sony does is great simply because Sony did it. For motion control, I have a Wii. For hi-def games with an overall score for every game I play, I have my Xbox 360. I have a standalone Blu-Ray player for hi-def movies. All they’ve shown me as a consumer is that their system will perform the same functions as hardware I already own, and I’d rather take that couple hundred smackers and buy more games and movies for what’s already plugged into my TV.