Matt Casamassina is a giant douche. I’ve thought so for quite some time, as his air of unwarranted pompousness and unbridled sense of self-worth have affected me like a bite into a wormy apple. His superpower as of late seems to be completely missing the point, like an unskilled archer or perhaps Tim Buckley.

Matt Cashanabahooha, who is the editor for IGN’s Wii channel, has recently penned a column entitled “Nintendo is Lazy and You Don’t Care.” In said column, Cabananarama chides Nintendo on multiple occasions for “seem(ing) content to cut corners and cash in.” He says “we all praise Nintendo for returning gameplay and not graphical pop to the forefront. Since their conception, games have been designed to be fun first and everything else second” and then nitpicks about the graphics in Wii Sports. The man is a grade-A toolbox, and I’m here to set things straight.

Why is it that American game companies always feel like they need to appeal to the lowest common denominator? I don’t mean this in regards to things like not localizing the old Final Fantasy games because they “weren’t accessible to the average gamer”, I mean taking gorgeous boxart and taking a CG dump all over it.

We’ve seen it a lot in the past, and the latest victim is the upcoming PlayStation 3 suspense/mystery game Heavy Rain. The PAL version of the game, released in Europe and Australia, according to Kotaku features this boxart:

It’s subtle, yet strong. The game is about trying to track down a serial killer known as the “Origami Killer” so the paper crane with the dab of blood with the dark, rainy background is almost poetic in its symbolism. That image alone conveys the atmosphere and tone of the game quite well, and is on par with some of the best “teaser” movie posters I’ve ever seen.

So what happens when the game comes to America? Sony Computer Entertainment America needs to remind everyone that, yes, this game has humans in it.

I, like many other video game enthusiasts, was at one point employed by GameStop. This is my story.

I started working for EB Games in the spring of ’06, I think it was. I was working part time at a grocery store in the Sacramento area, and I wanted another fun job to help me earn some extra money and it seemed like a good idea. I had just moved into a house with my two best friends and I didn’t have a lot of extra money to play with, so I could work there and then use the money to buy games, plus I’d get a discount on them. I was friends with the manager, since I was a frequent customer at the comic store he ran previously, and I got hired working on my days off from the grocery store.

I got my first article request a couple of days ago from my old buddy Jeff. He sent me a link to a YouTube video about an upcoming game called Wiiwaa and said it warranted comment by me. Well, I’m a man of the people, and I’m going to give the people what they want.

Here’s the link to the video, so go watch it and then come back. I’ll wait.

A group of teenagers save the world from a supernatural threat.

What game did I just describe?

A lot, I know.

I see a lot of talk on message boards and the like about how the Japanese-style RPG (or JRPG) is a dying breed, and this is mostly brought on because their storylines are all so similar. You have a group of plucky teens with stylish hair, a few giant swords, maybe a tough old guy who will probably die, and some insurmountable juggernaut that they somehow wind up surmounting.

Hey, we’re back! All right. Let’s jump right back into it, shall we?

Before I start, I don’t want to hear anyone whining that their favorite game didn’t make the list. If you’re so smart and have such good taste, where’s your blog, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Go back to your Livejournal, junior. The grown-ups are talking.

Anyway, these are 25 games that I feel encapsulate everything that was great about the 2000s (what the hell ARE we calling those years, anyway?). It’s weird, because some of my favorite games are pretty low on the list, or not on the list at all. I tried to be somewhat objective and choose games that brought something new to the table and advanced the medium in some way, not just games that I thought were rad.

These games are pretty rad, though.

Anyway, on with the list. I’m detailing #25 through #11 tonight, with the top ten coming tomorrow. Let me know what you think!

For me, one of the main draws of the Wii was the Virtual Console. Not only does it make playing old games more convenient by letting me play them all from one system, but it also gives me the opportunity to pay again for things I already own.

My favorite system of all time is the Nintendo 64. My two favorite games ever are Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, plus the system plays host to a ton of other games I love, like Mario Kart 64, Pokémon Puzzle League, and more I could list that you would get bored reading very quickly.

The biggest hurdle when it comes to enjoying Nintendo 64 games on my Wii is the controls. Playing Super Mario 64 with the Classic Controller or GameCube controller just doesn’t feel right. Sin & Punishment is nearly impossible to play on either, since it was one of the few games to use the “left” orientation on the Nintendo 64 controller, using the d-pad and control stick simultaneously. For the other consoles represented on the Virtual Console, there are great controller substitutes. We have the Wii Remote which is a great substitute for the NES controller when you turn it sideways, and the Classic Controller feels just like a SNES controller with a couple analog sticks thrown in for good measure. Nintendo 64 games, though, really don’t work.

While reviews (in the strictest sense, anyway) are something I plan on avoiding for this here blog, occasionally I’m going to write about a recent release that I’m into. You’re never going to see me give a game a numerical score or a letter grade or any of that, because honestly if I don’t believe reviews other people write, it’d be kind of hypocritical for me to start writing them. I do have much better taste than everyone else, though.

Anyway, Christina got me into the Silent Hill series not too long after we moved in together. It’s her favorite series, and while I had always heard great things, the only experience I had with it before playing through them with her was when me and three friends tried playing Silent Hill 2 in the dark when we were 16 and no one wanted to be the one holding the controller. I think it was the bathroom scene (you know the one) that did us in.

But as I’m an older now and my unbridled masculinity and toughness has made me impervious to the effects of survival horror, I’ve come to really enjoy Silent Hill. Silent Hill 3 is my favorite, even though I know Silent Hill 2 is the better game. Don’t ask me how that works. The series has hit a major snag lately, with both Silent Hill Origins and Silent Hill Homecoming failing to deliver and doing everything short of completely killing the franchise. When we started learning about Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for Wii, though, our hopes rose again. Thankfully, we weren’t disappointed.